My struggles as a Newbie mom

Eversince I gave birth, I felt like I know I should do the right things as a mom. Bathing her, changing diapers and feeding her-by my breasts.
However, I guess there are just some circumstances which we can't resist... And I tell you my story how I was, still am having hard time to breastfeed my baby.

My baby anaiah was born with a weight of 3.561kg. A newborn which looks like a month old already:)
I knew I wanted to feed her with the best milk could ever be given to babies-breastmilk. Before I gave birth, I prepared myself with this by attending breastfeeding classes, I even bought book about successful breastfeeding. So I just told to myself I know I can do it.

Came I gave birth, I was ecstatic, overwhelmed and tired. And sad thing was I still don't see my milk coming.. I must say i was frustrated.. Depressed with it. Partly because I was thinking this and this so called surroundings will support my advocacy but I felt as if not because I don't have milk yet.

I was crying, stressed and unhappy well aside from no milk, my baby started to drink formula and was drinking thru bottles. And came day 5, I massaged my breast a bit of milk came out. I was in tear of joy and carried my baby, offered my boobs but she didn't want to.. There came my second issue.. My baby has gotten nipple confusion.

I tried to latch her everytime but without success, well she will suck at my breast for about 5-10mins and that's it. And I didn't try to pump those days because I was thinking that hey she is latching. One point I was totally wrong. So I made myself thinking I am about to give up when I started pumping my milk and thru the help of my sisses at n@w I got breastmilk donation and for almost 2months she is into mix
feeding. One of my good friend who donatedbreastmilk to my baby said that one of the galactagogue that worked for her was the brewers
yeast. So by that time I was desperately looking for one. Until my hubby went
back to Manila last august 9 and I asked him to search for a brewers yeast, in the end I still asked my good friend where did she get the yeast so I can ask my
hubby to buy. Then she mentioned it was a cookie from mommy treats. I tell you I
got intrigued and was so interested with it so I google it and found mommy treats
by mommy Paola. The feedback were so positive that I emailed her right away. She responded quickly taken into consideration that she was on vacation that time.

That time she was on vacation and because I was in desperate to have my milk supply increase

Eventually I started to try to pump after 10days of giving birth to my baby, and we were at mix feeding, If I can finish one bag I am sooo happy..

I was able to get some donated bm from a Sis I knew from n@w and she gladly gave me some of her expressed breastmilk:) for 1 week where I was trying to "so called establish" my supply we give the expressed milk to her. After a week, still my pumped milk is not enough.:( so we ended up mix feeding again..

I was praying since my baby doesn't Like to latch then being an exclusive pumping of milk is ok, but my supply didn't increase... until i was informed by one of my friend who donated bmilk for my baby, Kat that it was brewers yeast which actually increased her supply. so I asked, where can we find brewers yeast in the Phils or in SG?? and she said it was a cookies, pastries that she bought in Phils. and that was Mommy treats. right at that time, i checked online and saw very nice feedback about the cookie, so i quickly emailed Mommy Paola behind the mommy treats. unfortunately, she was on vacation and unable to reply. until i got a message from facebook and she gladly advice she can bake the cookies for me when she comes back after 3 days from vacation and i Swear with Mommy treats! though my supply didnt shoot up as opposed to the feedback, my baby eventually latched at me and prefers me over bottle! after 2 months of eating the cookies, drinking galactagogues, malunggay, soups, i was able to store milk for my baby and direct feed her. and whats great is she is now exclusively breastfeeding.

my dream has emerged and to those who are thinking about my supply, doubting it which includes my hubby, i tell you. i dont care as long as i know what is best for my baby!

thank you for my family especially my mom who was really supportive of my advocacy.
i dare to say. breastfeeding is the best gift of nourishment i can give to my baby and hopefully as long as i have my milk, i can give it to her.

-mommy mai

my birthing story... ;)

its been 21 days since I gave birth to adorable, sweet and chabelita baby girl. we named her Anaiah Francesca, so girly name they say.. my hubby call her Fran for short while me i call her Franya.. :) the below story is all about the day of the special moment of my life and the start of my overwhelming tasks of being a mother..

during my 37 weeks, i can sense that i am having a very light contractions, though i dont mind it because the interval is not close. it takes 2 hours interval so i was not really into thinking that she would like to come out. Come June 22, my doctor had asked me if i wanted an elective CS because our baby is still in breech position. as I cannot decide on the date, I asked her if it can be July 8 since my edd is on July 9, she said "can, but if your baby can still wait, otherwise it will be an emergency cs..." so when my Mother in law came here last june 25, she keep on telling me do not wait for labor anymore, perhaps she really wanted to see the baby already hahaha, excited na siguro masyado. for me on the other hand, is torn on the date, i told myself, July 3 nalang... kaso 6 nalang kaso.. as in super dami kong what if..

so June 28, we watched Green Lantern, my tummy is also aching but i didnt think its contractions, i also noticed that baby is so likot.. i thought at first it was due to the movie we were watching... anyway, came 2am of June 29, i cant sleep, she is so likot talaga, and looked like that hour i started to go to washroom, then i drink water... tapos, likot pa rin, i woke up around 3am, same thing, likot talaga, then i went to washroom to pee then drank water again, then by 420am, grabe hindi na talaga ako makatulog, i spoke to her, i told her, "baby, please lets go to sleep, nanay need to go to the office in the morning" same thing, i went to the restroom and drank water.. then i was able to sleep soundly.. kaso by 521am... napatakbo ako sa washroom because, my undies, my shorts and my bedsheet is BASA! and water is dripping, nagulat at nagising si hubby and mother in law, i even checked my pantyliner and so basa talaga, its clear water, so inamoy ko pa, i thought its my water bag... then hubby said "baka naman naiihi ka lang" then i looked at him saying "hindi ito na... gusto na niya lumabas" then I asked my mother in law "mama nie, ano po gagawin ko?" that was when i took a bath. and i couldnt contain myself, there i put a maternity pad after almost 9 months of not wearing a napkin... then i was calling my sister, around 6am.. she was not answering.. so i changed my clothes, that was when my hubby asked me "gumagalaw ba si baby" then I said, "no"... i cant feel it. so takbo na kami sa hospital... while at the taxi, my hubby held my hand and asked "munch, anu na name ni baby? hay, di pa rin kami natapos sa name..."

630am, at the delivery Suite, the receptionist asked why we came to the hospital and i said " i think my water bag is leaking" and i suddently asked to go to the toilet dahil feeling ko kulang ang maternity pad na suot ko at basa na ako... so the nurse/receptionist accompanied me to the toilet and there i saw a "show" mucus with a bit of blood... i told myself eto na ito...then the nurse, rushed us to the labor room and waited there... as usual, some medical staff keep on asking me about my pregnancy etc. and the nurse, tried to put on the fetal heart monitor... at first hinahanap niya ung heartbeat ni baby na hindi niya makita kasi sa may pelvic bone sya nagchecheck.. my hubby asked her twice, " are you checking on the heartbeat of the baby?" and the nurse didnt respond. till i said to her, pls try checking at the lower part of my breast, that is where she got the heartbeat and said "thank God" kinabahan din kami ha.. then she said, your baby is breech? hehehe, talaga at the labor, breech pa din si baby. then the midwife came up to me and gave me some instruction that since we did not request for elective cs, it will be considered as emergency cs due to the presentation of the baby... then my doctor came, I smiled at her... i told her "doc, sorry i know you will going to scold us" then she said "no lah, i just told you before normally first born either they want to come out early or after..." that day was supposed to be a scheduled check up last with her at night kaso inabutan na nga ako. ;) then i started calling my boss, informing her i am already at the hospital and she couldnt imagine, kasi hindi ko halos naendorse lahat... as in even my ML was not yet applied, my claims for reimbursement, the Witholding taxes i need to clear for her, the entries i need to pass on rental invoices etc... madami pa.. pero super supportive ni boss and the whole of my team. so i was so happy..

at 830 am, doctor came to me again and asked, when was my last food and water intake? i said it was around 421am.. and i asked her, since its emergency cs, can i bring my hubby inside... she said, she is not sure but she will ask for exception daw.. naku sana sana,,, then she said by 930am, you can give birth already... then another in house doctor came up to me and said my hubby unfortunately was not allowed to be with me at the theater room. and they transferred me to the other bed and brought me to the ward, that's where some pinay nurses took me and they couldnt allow my hubby to go inside na.

920am, there were about 3 pinays, 2 indian and 2 chinese nurses, helping my doctor to arrange the things for the surgery then an anaestheologist na pinoy also came and explained that he will need to give me epidural na. dito ako natakot... while the pinay holding my arms and my upper body para lumabas ung spine ko, i closed my eyes and prayed our Father, hail Mary and Glory Be, mga 5x ata un, then i sensed the tube coming inside of my spine, and boom, natawa ako kasi they told me to lie down and i couldnt feel anything at the lower part, as in numb sya! astig!

then they put a curtain na in front of my face and all i could remember was they were stretching my tummy, removing the baby and looked like nahihirapan pa si doc. ang bilis ng pangyayari, after 20mins, i heard my baby cried! as in super lakas ng cry! ang tagal, then the indian nurse i guess cleaned her... then she came back to me and said "mommy, congratulations, is a cute baby girl!the first thing i checked was her nose, and true nagmana sa tatay! hindi man lang nakuha ang ilong ko :( hahaha, and i kissed her. my doctor just say, congratulations marie!then back to work, nakakaloka ang bilis talaga, then after removing my placenta, that was when they open the curtain, and i saw the assistant doctor na guy..nahiya naman ako hehehe...the pinay nurse said that guy used to see lots of 'it' na daw so no worries.

1030am, then they brought me to the recovery room... i spent another 1.5 hours pero super normal ako, i dont feel any paid at all. parang wala lang talaga..that was when i asked another nurse if i could drink water... kaya pala hindi ako pinapansin, hindi pa pala pwede...

1140am, i was brought to the room already. feeling no pain and i was excited to see my baby again...

by 3pm, di ko na kaya, gutom na talaga ako, they gave me milo pero it was my hubby who drank it din, in short, wala rin di pa pwede kumain.. only by 6pm, that i was allowed to eat...

looking back, the only thing i would want to turn back was when the nursery nurses asked me if i want to bfeed my baby that night and super pagod ako after the operation, i opted to sleep, should i agree to it mas nafeel kong nanay ako, though this past few days were so frustrating and overwhelming dahil even if she cry, i dont know for what reason, triny ko na atang tumambling crylaloo pa rin... i must say, i still see God's blessing in her.

i love our baby franya!

At 36weeks and counting:)

This looks so close yet so far:)2more weeks to go and our little peanut is in full term! Yey!!!:)
Yesterday,a small box came with full of baby clothes we bought at eBay:) wow, we are almost ready though have not washed them nor iron.. I managed to segregate those 0-3 and 3-6 months clothes! Super dami pala hahaha!!! So my checklist is almost complete except for a baby bath tub and bath support with which hubby is keen to buy a bath tub with a stand... Wala pang hamper si baby or yung organizer niya. I really wanted to go to ikea to check these kaso napapagod naman ako.. And hubby told me next week nalang... Hay as much as possible gusto ko na talaga matapos ang mga dapat kong bilhin at malabhan at plantsa na lahat para by 37-38 weeks ko everything is ok and I could rest...

Pero mukhang Hindi... Cramming parin Kami hay bahala na...
I just hope baby can still stay a bit sa tummy ko pa.. Ok Lang if she is in breech Basta healthy and no complications physically and mentally. I somehow wanted to see my baby but somehow hesitant as I have not gone to my leave yet and my boss has not return yet from her holiday:) and besides if papipiliin na Rin Lang ako ng date dahil Baka ma-cs ako due to breech baby, I wanted to get July 8 a day before my 40th week kaya sana talaga peanut could still stay at my tummy till July 8:)

:)

6 weeks to go! oh i cant wait

its been a while since my last post. i have been so tied up, tired and very much busy thinking... of what? well, upon knowing with our doctor that our little peanut is still in breech last 28 weeks of my pregnancy, i have become so pressured and scared.. pressured in a sense that i really thought i need to help her turn down her head, scared because of that i didnt expect i may be admitted into cessarian delivery. I AM NOT PREPARED FOR IT. :( so for the 3 weeks i am on and off doing pelvic tilt, going all fours, and knee chest position, it even came a time that i suffer bruise at my knees kakagapang! these excercises will help my pelvis to loosen and help her do turning reflex, well that what i read of at the spinningbabies.com... there were times that she kicks higher on my abdomen but MOST of the time i hear her doing hiccups at my pelvic bone... my baby's fist or rather knees are ver evident showing in my tummy during mrt trip going to work and its so catchy and amazing... so i thought she had turn down..

came my 32nd week check up and viola! she is still in breech position! lalo akong npressure and bit disappointed at myself... so i told myself, double hard work pa... i am having hard time sleeping already as she usually active at the middle of night around 11pm, feeling that she is trying to turn i guess, practising her lungs, sucking and kicking, well still at the bottom :( ang hirap... i am still doing the pelvic tilt, all fours, walking, massaging her... hay, 34 weeks na and still the same kicks where i use to feel :( siguro talagang kampante na siya ng ganung position, icompromise ko nalang self ko with what she wanted... but i am still hoping and wishing even at the last minute she will turn down...

at 32 weeks we also had a baby shower for her! it was a fun and blast indeed, hay sira lang talaga ung laptop pa namin kaya hindi mailagay ang mga pictures... :( hopefully maayus na and i can post some.. out of 65 guests confirmed invitees, 50 came and remember that day ;) we are so happy and though not all of my registry gifts were taken, we are still thankful for all those who gave the gifts and attended it.. cant wait to shop paunti unti... heheheh!

indeed this gift is a blessing and as big day is drawing near, there are moments i am scared, thinking of what ifs, and hope to GOD that everything will be all right, that if she really dont want me to deliver her naturally or normally, at least a very healthy baby girl without complications... and I knwo everything will fall into place...
with God at our side :)

happy at 28 weeks ;)

i have been so busy this past few days and super walang time magblog... perhaps busy travelling? :) hahaha, we went to Krabi, Thailand last april 7-9 during my 26 weeks preganancy and had a great time, strolling at the beach thought i could still have do an island hopping hindi na pala pwede hahaha... pero sulit parin coz we still eat a lot, strolled a lot, had a foot spa and pedi mani while my hubby had an oil massage and as in nagpainit talaga kami sa beach! ngayun ayan super tan ko hahaha, kirara daw :)

after that,pagkabalik ng office dami din nagyari pero nako i dont mind i mean try not to mind it nalang at mastress lang ako mahirap na.. so i do try to manage to go home on time, do my work as is. that's all. by the way, im happy! the last time i checked my weight it didnt increase! bagkus ngloose pako ng 0.3 hahaha... sana sa monday na check up namin, hindi naman ganun kalaki si baby tama lang at hindi din drastic ang weight ko :)

yesterday, had a nice bonding with a volleyball friend of mine na literally on her 37th week na... nakakatuwa, super lobo na ng tammy niya, thought my tammy is big enough na hindi pa pala hahaha! ang saya! sharing our things where to buy baby things, kwentuhan about marriage, relationship at work, mga information about labour and delivery etc.. nakakaexcite sya! later will meet again for the championship of our team sana hindi naman ako ganun hingalin hahaha :)

this past few days, hingalin na talaga ako, even umakyat ng ilang steps from mrt platform to office. nakakaloka... hindi ko na mahhabol si hubby sa paglalakad... hahaha.. pero my back still manage ko pa rin... our baby's kick is stronger. hubby can feel it already when he try to listen, i wonder if sometimes how come sa baba at sa itaas ang sipa niya siguro ngiinat siya? :) or sometimes, i hear her pitik na maliit na sunod sunod,,, i guess that's hiccups :) so amazing talaga i couldnt imagine myself talking to her every morning wishing her to be healthy and turn para madeliver ko sya ng normal.. or sometimes hubby will say "baka maexcite sya lumabas" and i will himas my tammy and say " baby hindi pa pwede, wala ka pa name and gamit" hahaha! funny things like that. im happy na din coz hubby supports minsan pero shempre feeling ko insensitive parin kasi mas gusto pa din sa magrowing etc hehehe... pero we already had an agreement to attend 9 classes with him kaso sa breastfeeding topic he will not dahil nasa boracay sya for competition...

ang dami kong dapat gawin! baby shower... this time i was able to finish na the gift registry, invites and contacted caterer na... we just have to confirm ilan ang pupunta :) marami pa... hayyz... like decors, diaper cake and cake. i also ordered favors na saya naman... one at a time, after this, binyag naman ang iisipin ko... oopss.. baby things pa pala hahaha! nakakaloka to the max! :)

but its worth it... ;)

been so tight this past few weeks :)

the last time i posted about my adventure as buntit was last 3 weeks i think... hehe its been awhile.. busy with some things... office... and office... how do I start my blog?hmm.. goes like this..

week 20- we had a adc-antenatal diagnostic scan of our baby at KK and the experience was amazing... our baby is so big already, where the bones are so visible at the ultrasound.. the doctor told us that this scanning is about 99% accurate... she checked all the organs of our baby... all ok.. the eyes, nose, lips, brain, heart, lungs, kidney pati kung cerebrum or cerebelum ung part ng brain! astig! and my hubby is so keen to know the gender... the doctor took the scan at the behind of the baby and boom! nagpakita sya ng legs hehehe, its a baby girl! we are happy to hear it! tapos, as the doctor wanted to check the face of the baby and again, she is facing down... she told me to take a pee first then drink water and walk a bit then come back, hopefully baby will face up na.. and when i come back, haha, nakatingala nga si baby! ang kulit... its so amazing that this baby is actually in my tummy!!! as in nakabuo talaga kami! hehehe...

then after the thorough scanning, we went to see my baby's pretty doctor. wala lang mga 5 mins lang ata kami nagusap haha... like- your placenta is not too low, you dont have any illness in blood, everything looks ok.. you happen to know the baby gender? then I said yes, its a girl... then i say my dream is sooo opposite... then she said, oh dont worry, as she grows, we will see if indeed a girl :)
ganun lang, we both went home and so excited.

came my 21 weeks, we wentd to Ho Chi Minh city Vietnam.. spent about 3 days there.. had a relaxing foot spa and mani/pedi while hubby took thai massage... katuwa kasi the vietnamese lady, asked me if i am having a baby... nakasexy singlet kasi ako nun hahaha..! then we went to mekong delta... i wore shorts lang that time when i noticed my feet getting bigger na... i was gulat! as in.. its early pero how did it happen? I always take a walk about 15 mins everyday walang kupas un! as in going to MRT and going back from Office... ang bilis naman... i managed not to eat sweets din naman... oh why? oh well, they say its part of pregnancy... where i should start to understand..and accept it, lumalaki na talaga ako..
then we ate and ate and ate, super mura naman kasi ng food dun! plus, hubby allowed me to buy some preggy clothes! so i bought around 5 more... as usual for work... its soo cheap as compare here... its about 15SGD a piece lang, like in Phils...hahaha :)

we wanted to go to chu chi tunnel but i dont think i will be able to manage pa walk ng nakaupo for 100 meters.. so as in ikot ikot nalang kami sa last day namen... we also heard mass sa Notre dame cathedral Ho chi minh... i have been to France version and saw this lovely cathedral and i was not disappoint din naman here in Ho chi minh... nice architectural structure... napakablessed talaga ng simbahan nato... after the mass, we bought a crucifix and the vietnamese lady gave me a rosary bracelet for free... she is so kind :) we also ate "pho" noodles there at less than 2sgd or 60 pesos... o diba? ayus talaga!tapos, we tour the saigon river... via indochina boat... it was romantic din, kasi with dinner na un so kulang nalng ng flowers hehehe!

well, all in all, with about 600SGD total spent for 2 or about 20K pesos it was sulit na! katuwa... take note, that includes accommodation and airfare so it was such a nice experience and we will definitely go back... try perhaps Hanoi then to Ho chi minh..

came my 22 weeks, palakas na ng palakas ang mga sipa ni baby, pero hindi pa rin sya nagpapahuli kay tatay niya... hiya kay tatay hehehe...

now i am at my 23 weeks! and going... started checking and shopping some things for her... planning baby shower.. bought our first purhase- Stroller/pram from newborn to toddler na...which sa wakas nagkasundo din kami ni tatay which one to buy! hahaha and ang mimi niya makulit na rin, excited na rin mamili! :)

medyo hectic na din... plus the names we shortlisted na till now, hindi nanaman kami magkasundo hahaha! dont worry soon... we will reveal our chosen name for her.. :) 1 more week to go and i am alsmot finishing my 2nd trimester!!! :) sooo love being pregnant!!

at 17 weeks and going..

wow! i can see my tammy growing and growing... heheh, i noticed also a bit of black line in my pelvic area and thought its a stretchmark, hindi naman pala they call it "linea nigra" which is normal naman... hahaha!going back to my 16th week, i was so anxious in choosing who's OB and where to give birth here... true enough, dr. heng ung super sikat na doctor dito sa east shore and mt alvernia is ALWAYS fully booked! so i only have 2 remaining doctors to choose, Dr. esther ng of east shore/mt alvernia or Dr. irene chua of TPS-KK hospital. i ended up at Dr. chua kasi based sa reviews ang daming good reviews about her and beside, 2-3 of my ex DBS colleagues where under her and mentioned na indeed gentle and mabait... kaso i honestly didnt like to give birth in KK due to horrible stories i read at the forum... pero checking and CALCULATING the difference beyween a PRIVATE and GOVT hospital is WAY big! and besides, TPS is more like a Private Suite ng KK so pwede na din hahaha...

when we were at our appointment it took din around 1 hour bago natapos lahat ng tests and consultation with the doctor.. we thought we would be able to know the gender or the baby pero sadly... nakaface down sya and closed legs... waaah! nagpasuspense si baby!... so awesome! iba talaga ang gift ni God kasi parang nun lang super liit na tadpole lang nya this time may mga forms na hehehe... sana naman all the blood tests i took will result as negative... next test we will be taking after a month will be adc... i am not really sure what it is but i think its more of checking if the baby's health, heart doesnt have hole... tama bako? oh well, let me research again! my hubby also has to take HIV screen test din... unfair nga naman kung ako lang... hehehe...i gained 2.5Kg for 1 month and oh no talaga! i should maintain or at least 1-2 KG lang otherwise... i dont want to go thru CS! :(

here is the picture of our baby!